


Jailbreak

by idontwritebroadway (wedontwritelemons)



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Season/Series 01, Shelby centric, Tags May Change, in the life of shelby ig, my favorite internalize homophobic lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontwritelemons/pseuds/idontwritebroadway
Summary: Shelby Goodkind was a good person. It was in her name, she had to be. Good n’ kind, just like her mother, just like her siblings, just like her pastor father. A young pageant star with a smile that could blind. Her unrelenting love for the lord was admirable to the rest of her church. Shelby Goodkind was level headed, she always kept her cool and always stood up tall.Except- Shelby wasn’t any of those things. Not deep down anyway.or- It's been four months since the unsinkable eight have seen each other. Shelby's been put in total isolation thanks to her parents and really just wishes she could see her friends again.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 37
Kudos: 513
Collections: ST13





	1. Isolation

Shelby glanced out her bedroom window at the world around her. After everything that happened, she was still trapped. Trapped on an island, then trapped in a bunker, and now she was once again trapped in the perfect Goodkind life.

Her life changed drastically in the past four months. Yet- at the end of the day she came home as the same person she was before. A carefully curated persona, designed for the approval of her family, her peers, and the church. 

Because Shelby Goodkind was a good person. It was in her name, she had to be. Good n’ kind, just like her mother, just like her siblings, just like her pastor father. A young pageant star with a smile that could blind. Her unrelenting love for the lord was admirable to the rest of her church. Shelby Goodkind was level headed, she always kept her cool and always stood up tall.

Except- Shelby wasn’t any of those things. Not deep down anyway. 

Shelby was a fake. She put all her trust into an unproven, all-knowing figure whenever she was in a tough spot. All because she was too cowardly to deal with it herself. Shelby lost her cool, frequently in fact. Even her smile, the pageant winning, blinding white smile, was fake. 

The world only knew Shelby Goodkind. The world only needed to know Shelby Goodkind. Surface level Shelby who never did wrong. 

That was until she plummeted into the fucking ocean along with girls she had known for all of ten minutes.

She had learned to let loose on that island. There’s no approval to wait for when the people you're with are gonna die on the same island as you.

It was a morbid thought, to know you were walking on your grave. But Shebly found it liberating at the same time. 

In Texas, she had to be perfect. Any trip up would be a point off at the pageant, a disappointed sigh from her friends, or worse- a report back to her father. 

Upsetting her father was the last thing Shelby wanted to do. 

But on the island- nothing she did was getting to her father. 

Shelby could say what she wanted, be what she wanted, and do what she wanted. 

Which is why it almost hurt to be back home. Being safe in a bed with proper food and shelter never felt more painful. Her parents had questioned her about what happened on the island and Shelby almost felt like she was back in the irrigation room. 

But unlike in the room- she could never tell her parents what she did out there.

Some of it was obvious, she couldn't exactly hide a shaved head. But others...

The hand on her waist pulling her closer, the lips on her, using her mouth for what the lord never intending it to be used for- 

Shelby hid a lot of her island experience from her parents. 

Rain sprayed her window lightly, blurring her view of the outside but not removing it. It felt so quiet in her room. The island was never silent. Even if nobody was talking, the waves crashed, the leaves moved, and the animals played. In the detention room she was given, the lack of sound was suffocating. The room was numbing and cold. But here, at home, it was just lonely. It managed to seem more isolated than the bunker.

Her room used to always hold someone else. Shelby always had a friend over or a family in the parlor. But now it's silent. Her parents didn’t allow anyone in. They wanted Shelby to ‘heal one on one with the lord’. 

But Shelby didn’t pray. 

Shelby sat at her window. 

She didn’t talk with anyone.

Not even God.

The only people who would understand were the girls. Her friends. Her  _ family _ . She’d never admit it to their faces but- they were family. A forced one, but family. Shelby tried to keep in touch with them. But on the fifth week of being home, her father took her phone and changed the number. 

Her family claims to be looking out for her-

But it felt like a punishment.

She missed the rest of the ‘unsinkable eight’ as Martha had named their group chat. 

The rain outside was now pounding violently on her window. It reminded Shelby of the freak storm from day three. They were practically still newbies to the island. The storm was a rude awakening of how much danger they were in. 

The storm outside was just as strong but not as nearly as intimidating. Maybe it was because Shebly was inside, or maybe it was because Shelby had been through so much worse. 

Shelby picked up her phone, turning it over in her hand. Her parents got her a new one after she got back home, giving her just under two blissful months of keeping in touch with the girls. Then the number changed and homeschooling kicked in. The isolation was painful. Shelby was done with it after one day of it at the facility. To go home and be quarantined again felt like a spit in the face.

It felt like a punishment. 

Maybe it was.

This could be her father's message for not being as open about the events on the island as he had hoped Shelby would be. Or maybe her parents genuinely wanted what's best for her. 

Shelby didn’t know.

She doesn't know a lot of things anymore.

Did the rest of the girls even notice she stopped responding to their messages? She messaged Toni every day, maybe she noticed.

_ Toni. _

Shelby looked away from the window, placing her phone down on her bed.

_ Dear Lord, how she missed Toni.  _

Even before her phone number changed, it wasn't the same texting all the time rather than feeling Toni’s solid body pressed against hers. 

And now of course there was nothing.

Which was arguably worse.

It’s been two weeks without the rest of the unsinkable. Seven weeks since they’ve last seen each other. Nine weeks since they were rescued from the island. 

Shelby remembers the last thing Toni told her on the island. They were all being put on separate boats, something about no discussion of what happened because it could interfere with their stories. None of them knew it would be three weeks before they saw each other again. Yet- she remembers Toni shouting over the panic mixed with excitement. Yelling to Shelby as they both got pulled in separate directions and onto different boats.

“ _ I’ll be waiting for you!” _

How long was Toni willing to wait? The question made Shelby’s heart sink. She wasn’t worth waiting that long for. Toni was a fiery ball of passion. She was amazing and confident. She could probably get any girl she wanted. Why wait for Shelby?

The phone on Shelby’s bed buzzed, cutting over the silence filling the room. Shelby picked up carefully, ready to see a new text from one of her relegion friends, or a message from the church.

But-

**hey shelby the unsinkables are in town. meet us at the bowling alley at six. if u need to be jailbroken, just say the word and we got it- Dot**

Shelby froze. She blinked once, then twice- even rubbed her eyes to make sure the message was still there.

It was.

_ How? _

As if to know she asked, another message popped up. 

**can’t make fun of my dealer period now, my connections landed me a pretty nifty new phone number lmk when you get this message**

Shelby laughed a quiet chuckle in disbelief that turned into full-blown laughter.

Of course.

Lord- she owes Dot her firstborn. 

There were a lot of questions on her mind. How did the rest of the unsinkables make it all the way to Texas? Who gave Dorathy Campbell her number? How was she gonna make it to the bowling alley tonight?

That last question she could answer now. 

Shelby turned the door to her room, making her way quietly down the hall. She could hear her family downstairs, probably eating lunch together. Shelby ran through the ways to phrase her question in her head carefully. She wasn’t much of a liar. Not to her father at least. Shelby could count on one hand the number of times she lied to her parents. If she tried to lie about this one- she’d probably get caught. Instead, the best option would probably be simply to- eliminate some of the truth. Yeah. 

“Shelby!” Her mom sang as she entered the kitchen. “How nice of you to join us!”

“Hi, Ma,” Shelby said tentatively, sitting next to her brother. “I have a question.”

“Shoot.” His father smiled.

“Dot, one of the girls from the island, messaged me- on Instagram,” Shelby said, throwing the Instagram in quickly at the end. If her parents know Dot knew her number, it’d just be changed again. “She wants to hang out tonight, at the bowling alley. She was the other girl from Texas, please can I go? I miss her, I haven’t seen any friends in like- three weeks.”

“Wasn’t Dot your school's drug dealer?” Her father asked. Of course, he was worried about the reputations of who Shelby was with. 

Shelby froze. “I- well, yeah. But it was to help pay for her sick father. She doesn't do it anymore. Her father, well, passed.” Shelby looked at the table, her heart pounding as she waited for a response.

“If it will just be Dot, then why not.” Her mother smiled. “Send her our condolences. May God bless her and her father.”

Shelby nodded, trying not to laugh at how much Dot would hate to know somebody is praying for her. “Thank you, thank you. You won't regret this.”

“I'm sure we won't.” Her father smiled.

Shelby could tell they didn’t fully believe her. They probably hated the idea of her hanging out with a dealer- former or not. But a pity decision was a decision nonetheless. 

She practically tripped over the stair as she ran back up to her room, grabbing her phone off her bed.

**_See y’all at six_ ** **.**


	2. Alley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to update angst into the tags for this one

The bowling lanes were a familiar place for Shelby. She went here often before the crash. The alley had a distinct smell and look that always felt welcoming. Yet as Shelby pulled her car into a parking spot, she hesitated.

Why was she scared?

The unsinkables have seen her through her literal rock bottom. So why was she nervous now? Maybe because they probably think she ghosted them. They probably hate her. Or dislike her at the very least. 

But then why would Dot put in all the effort to reach out?

Her brain raced with conflicting thoughts and Shelby sunk down in her seat. Oh  _ lord _ . She dropped off all communication with them just like that. They had every right to be a little pissy- and they probally were.

Back on the island, they were always at eachothers throats. Likely because death hung over their heads all the time, everyone was a little tense. But now would it still be the same? Shelby remembers when Fatin dropped off the face of the island, how mad everyone had been when they found her. Yes, it had been under drastically different circumstances, but-

Shelby ran her hand through her short hair. It had grown a bit since being shaved and her Mom styled it to more of a taper fade. Shebly hated it and as a result wore a hat every day since she got back. But she didn’t bring one here. She knew the girls wouldn't judge her hair. But- Shelby wasn’t on the island with just the girl anymore. She was back in Texas- where all eyes were on here and she needed the world's approval for anything at all. 

She’s starting to wish she brought a hat.

Shelby sat up in her seat, bringing her hands to the steering wheel. 

What if she ran home quickly for a hat.

Or maybe just when home totally.

This was a bad idea.

Her phone pinged, snapping the blonde out of her hesitation.

**it’s 6:05, didn’t peg u as someone whos late, shelby**

**rachel and i will drag you from your car, i know ur in the parking lot**

Damn, Dot. Out of all the unsinkables to get her new number, it had to be the one who takes zero shit from anyone.

**_I’m coming in right now._ **

There’s no turning back after the text of confirmation. Shelby took a deep breath and stepped out of her car. 

The damp night air surrounded her as she walked towards the door. From across the parking lot she could see Nora and Fatins faces pressed against the glass and just like that the paranoia and hesitation disappeared. 

Shelby grinned, breaking into a sprint towards the entrance as Fatin pushed the door open, leaving Nora to tumble forwards into the parking lot.

“Shelby!”

“Let me in, it’s cold!” Shelby pushed past Fatins hug, ignoring the girl’s noise of offence. “I missed y’all!”

“You wouldn’t know it with how I’m treated.” Fatin rolled her eyes, no malice behind her attitude. 

Shelby’s face hurt from grinning so much. It felt unreal to have everyone here. It felt unreal to just  _ leave her room again _ but seeing the rest of the unsinkables was definitely a bonus. 

Fatin went in for a hug again, and this time wasn’t denied. Shelby squeezed Fatin tightly, like maybe this was a dream and if she let go, it would end.

“Where’s Dot? I wanna know who gave her my number. And how did y’all get here?  _ Why _ are y’all here? Did y’all miss me? I got my phone number changed I-”

“Slow down, Shelby. Not all of our brains go that fast.” 

Shelby whirled around at the sound of Rachel’s voice to see her, Dot, and Leah. 

_ Wow. _ They really were all here. 

It felt unreal. After having her friends ripped away from her before- seeing them again didn’t feel possible.

“I really thought we’d be sneaking you out of your house.” Dot pulled Shelby into a hug. Multiple other arms wrapped around the pair and Shebly smiled. 

“I thought so too.”

And Shelby meant it. Her parents had been so strict about isolating her, the fact that they let her some here- even if just for Dot- was crazy. 

As everyone separated, Shelby glanced over everyone. “Wait,” There’s only five other here. “Wheres-”

“Martha and Toni?”

“Yeah.” Shelby tried not to let her frown show. Toni not being here shouldn't ruin the fact that the others were. 

“They’re just in the bathroom, girl.” Fatin nudged her. “Don’t look like we kicked your puppy.”

“I didn’t-”

“You totally did.” Nora nodded. “This is a bowling alley. Let’s bowl.”

“When will they be out of the bathroom?” Shelby asked as she got led away from the front door.

“Your little girlfriend will be out when she’s ready.” Rachel signed. “We already paid for a lane just put in your name.”

“Tonis’ not my-” Shelby swallowed, typing her name on the keypad. On the island, nobody really worried about titles. Toni and her were ‘together’ that was it. There was no official title to their relationship, it wasn't really a priority. Titles didn’t seem important when the next day was never a guarantee. But now that they were back into society and labels seemed a lot more relevant. 

Not that Shelby could openly say she was dating a girl.

“How-” She shook her head, forcing herself out of her thoughts. “How did you all get here?”

“Well, I took up Fatins offer to room together, but I needed to come back to Texas to settle some legal stuff after my Dad’s death so that's why Fatin and I are here.” Dot said, picking up a ball. 

“The rest of us wanted to make sure you didn’t die.” Leah said. “You kinda dropped off the planet on us.”

Shelby looked down. “Yeah, well- my parents changed my number without warning.”

“That's the conclusion we obviously arrived at.” Fatin nodded. “Still worried that crap out of us.”

There was a feeling in the air, like everyone but her knew something. Something probably not great since they were trying to hide it.

“Something tells me Leah’s whole ‘wanted to make sure you didn't die’ wasn't a total exadaration…” Shelby said slowly. Maybe this wasn’t the conversation to be having in the middle of a bowling match with people getting up and sitting down again but- it needed to be talked about. 

“Some of us were more concerned than others.” Rachel shrugged.

“Who is ‘some of us’? Why are you being vague all of the sudden?”

Rachel just shrugged again, getting up for her turn. 

Something was wrong. And Shelby wasn’t very eager to get to the ending of it.

“Shelby!”

The blonde turned around just in time to see a Martha sized blur collide into her with a bone crushing hug. 

“I missed you!”

“Aw, I missed you too Martha!”

The girls separated from their hug and Shelby looked past Martha to see-

Toni.

She looked a lot healthier than she did on the island. Everyone did, but- to see Toni with clean clothes and her hair in a neat ponytail wasn’t something Shelby saw often. 

Suddenly all the confidence was gone.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Shelby. Nice hair.” Toni pointed to her head before stepping past her to join the bowling game.

Just like that, the world crashed around Shelby. The happiness this afternoon brought disappeared. Suddenly, the fact that everyone was here didn’t matter. Because the one person Shelby hoped would care, doesn't. 

No hug, no kiss, not even a ‘how are you’?

Shelby’s heart sunk. It was just like she feared.

She wasn't worth waiting for.

The rest of the unsinkables looked back and forth nervously but Shelbry brushed it off and sat back down to wait for her turn. 

It wasn’t unexpected, but it was everything Shebly hoped  _ wouldn't _ happen.

The entire time in isolation, all she could think about was seeing Toni.

They  _ had _ to be more than just an island fling. 

But as she stood here, it seems like that's just what they were. 

Shelby bowled a couple rounds, not talking much, leaving the conversation to the rest of the unsinkables who talked happily. It wasn’t until Fatin sat next to her that Shelby felt washed with dejavu. 

“You should talk to her.”

“I don’t need to. Everything is fine.”

“Is it? Or are you telling yourself that.”

“She doesn't care.”

“Yes she does.”

“It’s my turn.”

Shelby got up, leaving Fatin sitting alone.

It was self preservation. Pretend not to care and it hurts less. If Shelby talked to Toni about it and untimely got rejected, shes look stupid and hurt. 

If she just bowls without a care-

It’ll still hurt, but at least she wont look stupid.

Still, as the game progressed, Fatin’s eyes burning into her soul felt more and more apparent. If the girl was trying to guilt trip Sheby, it was working. 

Or maybe it was her own guilty continuous. 

When the game ended, Leah had won, by a long shot.

“How?” Nora questioned.

“I had baby bumpers, I don't think it counts.” Leah laughed. 

“Should we play another round?” Dot asked.

“Yeah but let's get food first, I’m starving.” Martha suggested. 

Fatin approaches Shelby once more as everyone walks ahead to get food.

“Fatin, I-”

“She’s hurting too, you know?”

“What?”

“Shelby, I’m the biggest supporter of you two. I’m not telling you to talk with Toni so you look stupid, or to start a fight. I’m telling you because you two are the worst communicators this planet has seen. She’s hurting too. You hide your pain by blocking out  _ everyone _ , Toni acts like she doesn't care. But you fucking bet she does. And you two need to talk.” When Shelby didn’t comment, Fatin continued. “And I’m telling you know, it may end up in a fight. There may be yelling. Toni’s a hot head and you're stubborn. Hell, if everything goes smoothly I’ll be surprised. But you need to try. Because it’s gonna hurt even more if you don’t.”

Shelby looked down. Fatin’s words made so much sense. Shelby was so worried about self preservation she didn't look past at the fact that maybe Toni was hurt too.

_ Lord _ . It’s all her fault.

Fatin put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m not gonna force you to do anything, but tonight is supposed to be fun. We’re all reunited! It can’t be fun if you and Toni are fighting. So stop moping and talk shit out. It’s beginning to stress out the rest of us.”

Shelby smiled softly. “Okay. Thanks, Fatin.”

“What are friends for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you didn't think the happy ending would come so easy did you?


	3. Talk

Fatin’s words echoed in Shelby’s head as the group ate. 

_ Tonight is supposed to be fun. We’re all reunited! It can’t be fun if you and Toni are fighting. So stop moping and talk shit out. It’s beginning to stress out the rest of us. _

It wasn’t fair on everyone else. Shelby knew that.

Martha kept looking back and forth between the two, Nora and Leah were sitting as far away as possible, Fatin kept staring at Shelby, Dot wasn’t looking at her at all, and even Rachel looked worried. 

Rachel, who took zero drama.

This wasn’t  _ fun _ . This was miserable. This was sad. This was-

In a moment of rare bravery, Shelby sat up straighter. “Toni? Can we talk?”

The instant relief was visible on the other girls. If it weren’t for this situation, Shelby would have found it funny. 

Toni on the other hand, shrugged. “What do we have to talk about?”

_ Toni’s a hot head and you're stubborn. Hell, if everything goes smoothly I’ll be surprised. _

Fatin was going 2 for 0 with her predictions. Shelby faltered a bit.

“It doesn't have to be about anything, I- I just wanna talk.”

“And I don't.”

Shelby watched as Martha nudged Toni slightly. There was a tense couple seconds before Toni shrugged. “Fine.”

Shelby knew her actions all too well and all too familiar. Not caring, not talking, not putting in the effort- it’s self preservation. It’s Toni protecting herself from getting hurt-

Because Shelby hurt her.

They got up and stepped outside to talk, but not before Shelby got a nod of approval from Fatin. 

Back on the island, Fatin was the first to find out about their relationship. It was before Shelby was ready for others to know, but without Fatin there would probably be no relationship. This wasn’t the first time the girl helped Shelby navigate this relationship. 

Fatin was right-

Her and Toni are shit at communicating. 

“So.” Toni leans against the wall under one of the fluorescent beams.

“How have you been?” Shelby asks tentatively.

“You did not bring me out into the butt fuck cold just to ask me  _ how I’ve been _ .”

“No,” Shelby admits. “I didn’t.”

“So-” Toni crosses her arms, not making it easy.

“Are you mad at me?” The question made Shelby feel small. It’s the question she asks her Father. It’s the sad tone she uses after her Mother nitpicks her pageant run. It's the implication she’s never had to use on Toni before. “Because I can get it if you are- I mean what I did was shitty and I’m sorry, I couldn't really do anything about it  _ Lord _ \- I wish I could have but-”

“No.”

Shelby blinked.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“What?”

Toni shrugged. “When you dropped off the grid I was scared, sure. Definitely worried out of my mind. But never mad. When Nora had the bright idea it was probably your parents, it made sense. I was just- stressed.”

“Then why-” Shelby paused, trying to organize her thoughts. “This.” She motioned around them. “This whole situation. Why were you so distant inside?”

Toni shrugged again. “There were a lot of reasons, most of them just me over thinking. I wasn’t sure you’d care. Like, maybe I was just your spicy straight phase. Being trapped on an island with all girls might do that to you. I didn’t want to seem stupid and care when you moved on. Or maybe you didn't care to begin with. But even if you did care- this is your turf. There’s people you know here. And since you were so hesitant to come clean about our relationship on the island- well I didn’t think running up and pulling you into a kiss was the best option?” 

Oh.

_ Oh _ . 

“Oh.”

Toni was just looking out for Shleby. She didn’t hate her, she just knew she wasn’t out yet. Shelby felt flooded with relief and before she could totally think through her actions, her hands were cupped on Toni’s face and she pulled the basketball player close.

It felt a lot like their first kiss on the island. The noise of surprise Toni made before melting into it, the way her hands went to Shelby’s waist to hold her closer. But this was different too. It was deeper. Shelby held Toni closer like she was scared to slip away. They had been without each other for so long and she  _ never  _ wanted to do that again. 

When they finally did pull away, Toni instantly wrapped her arms around Shelby’s neck for a hug.

“Yknow, next time you want to go undercover as just another straight friend, you can be a little friendly. You don't need to act like you despise me.”

Toni laughed and Shelby could feel it against her neck. “Yeah, that wasn’t my smartest move.”

“I felt a little like I was back on the island in the very beginning.”

“Hey!” Toni leaned back, smacking Shleby’s arm. “I didn’t throw a tree at you this time.”

“Thank god.” Shleby grinned. “Come on, let's go inside before the others explode from stress.”

Toni was right. This was Shleby’s ‘turf’. As they stepped into the bowling alley alone, Shelby could see all the people from her highschool, her church, her volunteer groups, her  _ town _ . They all knew her. And it was only a matter of time before her father finds out she's not  _ just _ with Dot. Maybe somebody even saw her kiss Toni outside. 

But- Shelby’s eighteen. She’s been eighteen for a while. She turned eighteen on the island, actually. She didn’t  _ have _ to stay with her parents. She could go anywhere. 

She grabbed Toni’s hand as she sat down, ignoring the look of the surprise from the girl next to her.

“Are you sure?” Toni whispered.

“Positive.” Shelby smiled as the rest of the girls cheered.

“It’s about time.” Rachel rolled her eyes, but the smile was not lost on Shelby.

“What about your dad?” Leah motioned to the hand Shelby was holding.

Shelby shrugged. “I’m eighteen now. Youre dumb if you think I’m going back to total isolation.”

Dot looked at Fatin who nodded. “We have a pull out sofa in the apartment if you need it for now.”

“No way-” Toni shook her head. “That is way too far from where Martha and I are. I have a full sized bed. That’s enough.”

The group started debating where Shelby should go as she smiled.

This might be stupid. 

All her belongings are at her parent’s house. She’s still gonna have to see them when she goes to pick up stuff. 

She’s leaving behind everything she ever grew up with.

But hey-

If she can survive an island with these girls, she can survive society. 

She’s got money in saving, and a car she bought with her own money.

Shelby will be fine. 

And Lord, being jailbroken feels good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fin
> 
> (ill add more if i get an idea too, but lol i dont

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments or feedback!


End file.
